I have had pain in my shoulder for a while, and it is getting increasingly bothersome. And still, I wait to seek help.
If I were talking to a friend, I would offer clear advice, “go and see a physiotherapist, doctor someone”, but since I am talking to myself, it is not so clear. Why can I radiate compassion, kindness, tolerance, and nurture to those I care about and have little for myself?
When I see others in pain and suffering, I have compassion, know what is going on, and empathize. Yet, it can be challenging to have the same self-awareness when my coping mechanisms tell me to toughen up and handle the situation, which only distracts me from the underlying issue.
Nothing is more important to love me than realizing I am not the voice in my head, and the voice in my head is not necessarily correct. It speaks from conditioning and loves to rehash outdated stories and reject information that does not align with prior experiences.
We can’t be kind to ourselves until we first acknowledge we are in pain and suffering, and that requires awareness and a willingness to notice the truth of each unfolding moment.
Then we can treat ourselves with the same compassion and kindness that we would treat a dear friend. We can even be kind to ourselves when we make mistakes and get it wrong.
Self-compassion is a safe place where we can meet our judgements, internal voice, shadow qualities and unwanted behaviours with kindness and without destroying our self-worth
“The most important thing is to remember the most important thing.” -Suzuki Roshi (Zen Monk)
And the most important thing is YOU.
Be your own best friend.
